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May. 8th, 2012 11:20 pm[Hello, Holloway's Keep! Here is a video of a young man in a green (very green) suit and a top hat so high it goes out of the frame. He's wearing blue sunglasses, big ones, which he hurriedly takes off as if he'd forgotten about them. His eyes are a little sunken in and defined by dark, deep circles beneath them. Despite those tired eyes, the Once-ler flashes a charming smile (as seen on TV).]
Hello, everybody! [His voice is smooth, a practiced tone.] I'm the Once-ler, yes that is my name, and I'm the CEO of Thneed, Inc. [Brief pause. A crack appears in his façade.] Where I come from, that really means something. [Anyway.] I figured I'd introduce myself publicly. You know—talk to people, maybe make… some friends… [He looks thoroughly unenthusiastic about that last bit.] Basic socialization isn't out of my skill set, I'm pretty sure. So, don't be shy! I don't bite too hard. Or at all. Let's chat.
[There's a long, awkward silence.]
I'd also like some cigars. Plural. Lots of them. I'll roll them myself if I have to.
[The end.]
Hello, everybody! [His voice is smooth, a practiced tone.] I'm the Once-ler, yes that is my name, and I'm the CEO of Thneed, Inc. [Brief pause. A crack appears in his façade.] Where I come from, that really means something. [Anyway.] I figured I'd introduce myself publicly. You know—talk to people, maybe make… some friends… [He looks thoroughly unenthusiastic about that last bit.] Basic socialization isn't out of my skill set, I'm pretty sure. So, don't be shy! I don't bite too hard. Or at all. Let's chat.
[There's a long, awkward silence.]
I'd also like some cigars. Plural. Lots of them. I'll roll them myself if I have to.
[The end.]
