yolonceler | Entries tagged with #text

Hi everyone! I'm the Once-ler—please don't laugh—and it looks like I'm in a castle or something. That's cool, that's really cool! Castles are awesome. Never been in a castle. But I really have to go home. My mom can't really cook for herself, and my uncle is too short to reach the top of the bookcase. So we've got some problems, you know? Family issues, et cetera. Important stuff.

And, quick question: does anybody know why I'm wearing this ~~awful~~ suit? It's huge on me, and stained with something. It's dry, and crusty, and gross. Maybe it's barbecue sauce? Doesn't taste like barbecue sauce. [Remember kids, always lick a stain if you don't know what it is.] Wait, never mind, this suit isn't awful, it's awesome. I don't know what I was thinking back there. Note to self, get this thing dry-cleaned.

[Regaining your memories out of order is pretty rough.]

Follow-up: does anybody know why I have a tattoo gun? Because I don't have any tattoos. My mom says they're dumb.

[Someone hasn't seen their Keep tattoo yet.]