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[yolonceler]

[The Once-ler emerges from the barracks (accompanied by a coughing fit, as he was running, and running does not agree with his damaged lungs), after a rather amusing freak-out when he noticed that he was not in his office. He is met with the sight of the Green. The Green, with its growing grass and budding flowers and… and nature. It's the landscape the Once-ler used to know, sans the truffula trees—but this is enough.

He glances skyward. It's blue, a radiant blue, with puffy cumulus clouds drifting about here and there. The light is bright, so bright he puts on his sunglasses, but there's… no sun? That makes about zero sense. He shakes his head and turns his attention back to the Green. He crouches down and tugs off one of his gloves. His hands are shaking, just a little bit, and they don't stop even when he commands them to. The Once-ler presses his palm down into the grass. The feeling is giving him some pretty unwanted flashbacks to when the truffula forest was full and lush. The world was a nice place to be, and you could take a deep breath without coughing up a lung.

He might as well be four years back in time.

So, if you want to see a tall, well-dressed man wandering around the Green with tears on his face, this is your chance.]

Comments

[yolonceler]

[Oh lord, oh no, someone found him. Once-ler, you idiot, of course someone is going to find you! Just because your suit is green doesn't mean you blend in! The Once-ler hurriedly wipes the tears off his face and turns to face Mimmi.]

Um, yes, I'm fine. I have allergies. [He crosses his arms and glares down at her through his sunglasses.] Tell me where I am.

[missmimmi]

[Oh. It's a new person.

EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.]

You are in Holloway's Keep. You did not read the note?

[yolonceler]

[Holloway's Keep? What a dumb name for a place.

(That's coming from the guy named "The Once-ler".)]

Note, what note?

[missmimmi]

The note that was in your room.

[Pause.]

Though I understand if you missed it. It is rather distressing when you first arrive here for most.

[yolonceler]

Distressing? No, I'm not distressed. I suffer from mild confusion.

[He is so distressed.]

What's in this note?

[missmimmi]

[Oh... fuck damn it. She really doesn't want to be the one to break it to this guy. Especially face to face.]

You were rescued and brought here by Lord Deior. Your home no longer exists.

[yolonceler]

Right. Okay. That's nice.

[The Once-ler makes a show of sweeping off his sunglasses in exasperation.]

Listen, lady. This isn't funny. I don't have time for pranks. And really, what's with the fake grass? Fake flowers? Fake sky, fake nature, fake everything? If you're trying to get some sort of emotional rise out of me, it's not going to happen. There will be no epiphanies or changes-of-heart over here. So please, point me to the door and show me the cameras. Things don't have to get uglier than they already are.

[missmimmi]

I... am sorry. There are no cameras. And as far as I know the... nature, is not fake.

[She's just giving him a wtf are you talking about look.]

[yolonceler]

[The Once-ler pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes a heavy sigh. He hates when things get ugly.]

Alright.

[He's going to buy this castle and demolish it.]

Keep talking, tell me more.

[missmimmi]

...Well.

Dinner is at seven every night. The showers are cold, and the lake has some kind of monster in it. As does the forest.

[She pauses.]

You can find more clothing at the Clothier's Tower.

[yolonceler]

[Ping.]

There's a forest?

[He pauses and takes some time to make his tone sound less interested. Calm down, Oncie. Don't get excited. This is all fake, after all.]

What sort of forest?

[missmimmi]

...A forest with trees?

[What even]

[yolonceler]

Yes but - [Oncie, stop sounding so strained.] - what kind of trees?

[missmimmi]

Pine? Maybe? I am not exactly sure.

[yolonceler]

You know what I mean. [No, she doesn't.] Truffula trees.

[missmimmi]

Um. What are 'truffula trees'? Are they tropical?

[yolonceler]

[Do people seriously not know what Thneeds are made of?]

No. Yes. ... Sort of. They're thin, and tall, and the trunk has stripes? And there are tufts on the top?

[missmimmi]

Oh! You mean palm trees!

[RIGHT??? DID SHE WIN THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION???]

[yolonceler]

What? No!

[He rubs at his eye with the heel of his hand. This is infuriating.]

Not leaves, tufts. And they're pink, or yellow, or orange.

[missmimmi]

[Oh.

Welp.]

I. Have no idea what you are referring to, then. I have never heard or seen truffla trees before.

[yolonceler]

[For a split blink-and-you-might-miss-it second, the Once-ler looks absolutely distraught, but he quickly turns back to condescending arrogance.]

Fine. That's fine.

[He puts his sunglasses on again.]

Don't know what I expected.

[missmimmi]

[Jeez these trees are really important to him aren't they.]

If it is all right, may I ask why you are so interested to know if those trees are here?

[yolonceler]

It's not all right.

[The Once-ler is not going to discuss his emotional distress with some lady in a fake garden. This has got to be some kind of trap from the environmentalist groups. Damn it, he shouldn't have shown interest in the first place.]

I was just wondering if you would really sink low enough to fake an extinct species.

[missmimmi]

[Aaand she's taken aback.]

What? I am not faking anything.

[yolonceler]

Look around you! We're in the middle of some garden thing, with grass and flowers and whatever! These things don't grow anymore, anywhere. They can't. That's kind of sick, isn't it? Faking something like -

[Oncie, stop! You're showing way too much emotion! He cuts himself off mid-sentence, thinks for a moment, then says,]

I need to know who's in charge around here.