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[yolonceler]

[The Once-ler emerges from the barracks (accompanied by a coughing fit, as he was running, and running does not agree with his damaged lungs), after a rather amusing freak-out when he noticed that he was not in his office. He is met with the sight of the Green. The Green, with its growing grass and budding flowers and… and nature. It's the landscape the Once-ler used to know, sans the truffula trees—but this is enough.

He glances skyward. It's blue, a radiant blue, with puffy cumulus clouds drifting about here and there. The light is bright, so bright he puts on his sunglasses, but there's… no sun? That makes about zero sense. He shakes his head and turns his attention back to the Green. He crouches down and tugs off one of his gloves. His hands are shaking, just a little bit, and they don't stop even when he commands them to. The Once-ler presses his palm down into the grass. The feeling is giving him some pretty unwanted flashbacks to when the truffula forest was full and lush. The world was a nice place to be, and you could take a deep breath without coughing up a lung.

He might as well be four years back in time.

So, if you want to see a tall, well-dressed man wandering around the Green with tears on his face, this is your chance.]

Comments

[yolonceler]

Uh -

[Well, what does he say to that? The Once-ler didn't foresee such a simple solution to his bad lie. Wait, why is he questioning this? A giant fucking robot is telling him to go inside. Would the Once-ler really dare to defy a giant fucking robot?]

- Actually, look! [He hurriedly wipes the tears from his face and takes off his sunglasses.] See, my allergies are gone! It's a miracle. Guess I can stay outside, then!

[The Once-ler would really dare to defy a giant fucking robot.]

[missmimmi]

...A forest with trees?

[What even]

[medicalize]

[ For a moment, Ratchet just gives him a very skeptical look. Then he leans in, cupping his chin as he studies the human's face. Surely he does look better than before. ]

Hn. Yes, it seems so. Fascinating.

[ Lucky that Ratchet really doesn't know much of anything about human allergies. ]

But you should do something in case those-- [ He makes a vague gesture with his hand. ] --allergies come back.

[yolonceler]

Yes but - [Oncie, stop sounding so strained.] - what kind of trees?

[missmimmi]

Pine? Maybe? I am not exactly sure.

[yolonceler]

[Have you ever been scrutinized by a giant fucking robot? It's awful. The Once-ler barely manages to maintain his cracked facade.]

Right. I'll be certain to stuff my face with allergy meds.

[yolonceler]

You know what I mean. [No, she doesn't.] Truffula trees.

[missmimmi]

Um. What are 'truffula trees'? Are they tropical?

[medicalize]

And that will help.

[ That's a question, actually, even if it sounds somewhat like a statement. Ratchet never exactly did 'friendly' well. ]

[yolonceler]

[Do people seriously not know what Thneeds are made of?]

No. Yes. ... Sort of. They're thin, and tall, and the trunk has stripes? And there are tufts on the top?

[yolonceler]

Yeah.

[It actually takes a moment for him to realize that statement was a question.]

Meds... Medicine? You know, to combat the symptoms of hay fever?

[missmimmi]

Oh! You mean palm trees!

[RIGHT??? DID SHE WIN THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION???]

[yolonceler]

What? No!

[He rubs at his eye with the heel of his hand. This is infuriating.]

Not leaves, tufts. And they're pink, or yellow, or orange.

[missmimmi]

[Oh.

Welp.]

I. Have no idea what you are referring to, then. I have never heard or seen truffla trees before.

[yolonceler]

[For a split blink-and-you-might-miss-it second, the Once-ler looks absolutely distraught, but he quickly turns back to condescending arrogance.]

Fine. That's fine.

[He puts his sunglasses on again.]

Don't know what I expected.

[missmimmi]

[Jeez these trees are really important to him aren't they.]

If it is all right, may I ask why you are so interested to know if those trees are here?

[yolonceler]

It's not all right.

[The Once-ler is not going to discuss his emotional distress with some lady in a fake garden. This has got to be some kind of trap from the environmentalist groups. Damn it, he shouldn't have shown interest in the first place.]

I was just wondering if you would really sink low enough to fake an extinct species.

[missmimmi]

[Aaand she's taken aback.]

What? I am not faking anything.

[yolonceler]

Look around you! We're in the middle of some garden thing, with grass and flowers and whatever! These things don't grow anymore, anywhere. They can't. That's kind of sick, isn't it? Faking something like -

[Oncie, stop! You're showing way too much emotion! He cuts himself off mid-sentence, thinks for a moment, then says,]

I need to know who's in charge around here.

[missmimmi]

[Oooooh. Wow. She gets it now.]

Lord Deior. But none of this is fake. You are no longer where you came from. Everything is alive here.

[yolonceler]

See, you can say that all you want, but I'm not going to believe you. Ever.

[He crosses his arms.]

Where's Deior?

[missmimmi]

None of us know. The staff might, but they will not tell the rest of us, unfortunately.

[yolonceler]

Riiight, nobody knows. All this melodramatic horror movie stuff is getting old pretty fast, you know.

[missmimmi]

Sorry? I can assure you that the majority of us were brought here against our will as well. You are not special.

[medicalize]

I know what medicine is. Cybertronians don't get 'hay fever' as you call it.

[ He rolls his shoulders as he considers this. ]

Why would you purposely subject yourself to allergens?